Howlers
by iceandfire105
Summary: Whatever Harry had been expecting, it certainly wasn't this. Apparently it wasn't often that your father sent you a howler to congratulate you. Ron was looking straightforwardly envious, while Harry didn't know what do to about this new development. AU of the howler scene in CoS.


**Just a little funny oneshot for you guys - basically what would have happened if James and Lily were alive, but Harry and Ron had taken the Ford Anglia to Hogwarts in their second year regardless. **

**Hope you enjoy, and please leave a review :)**

**Cheers!**

**~Ice.**

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_**Howlers**_

A ringing silence fell. The red envelope, which had dropped from Ron's hand, burst into flames and curled into ashes. Harry and Ron sat stunned, as though a tidal wave had just passed over them. A few people laughed and gradually, a babble of talk broke out again.

Hermione closed _Voyages with Vampires _and looked down at the top of Ron's head.

'Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you -'

'Don't tell me I deserved it,' Ron snapped.

'Mum'll be chewing me out too, mate,' Harry said in an attempt to lighten his mood. 'Give it a few minutes. I'll bet you anything she's sent me one of those.' He gestured to the remains of the Howler.

Ron grumbled moodily and just stared at the bacon on his plate.

Sure enough, less than a minute later Jeremy, Harry's father's owl, swooped in. Harry's eyebrows rose. _James_ was sending a Howler?

Jeremy landed on the table in front of him and diligently stuck out his leg. Dreading what he might hear – his father didn't yell often, but when he did it was _terrifying_ – he untied it and opened the envelope.

'_HARRY POTTER! A FLYING CAR! NEVER IN ALL OF MY LIFE HAVE I EVEN _HEARD_ OF SUCH A THING, AND NOW . . .'_ James' voice reverberated throughout the hall, and everyone else was completely silent, listening. Harry felt his face going red.

' _. . . YOU HEAR THAT, EVERYONE? THAT'S MY SON – _MY_ BOY GOES TO HOGWARTS IN A BLOODY FLYING CAR! I'M SO PROUD, NOT EVEN _PADFOOT_ WOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT -'_

Harry felt his eyes widen at this sudden turn of events as Lily started objecting in the background.

'_No, James, you're supposed to be _yelling _at him . . .'_

' _. . . YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY A GRAND ENTRANCE BY DRAGONS NEXT TIME -'_

'_JAMES!'_

'_KIDDING, LILS, KIDDING, BUT HARRY, I WANT A BLOW BY BLOW OF _EXACTLY_ WHAT HAPPENED AND NO LEAVING DETAILS OUT. GOT IT?'_

Whatever Harry had been expecting, it certainly wasn't this. Though looking back on it, he came to realise that it was _James_, and any sort of rule breaking was what he had always appreciated. If anyone wanted to get discipline through to Harry, Lily was usually the one to do it. Ron was looking at him with mixed expressions of incredulity, hilarity and envy. Hermione had actually set down her book and was listening to the Howler, looking surprised.

'_SURE, YOUR MOTHER ISN'T TOO HAPPY ABOUT IT ALL, BUT . . .' _There was a pause as though he had shrugged. ' . . ._ WHAT CAN YOU DO, EH?'_

'_James!' _Lily shouted in the background.

'_ERM, I'D BETTER GO. SHE'S GOING TO CHEW ME OUT FOR THIS.'_ There was a pause as someone was speaking quietly in the background, evidently too far away from the howler for anyone to hear what was actually being said.

'_PADFOOT SAYS HE'S PROUD OF YOU TOO, HARRY, AND MOONY SAYS THAT'S BEING A BAD INFLUENCE, BUT WHO CARES. I'M PROUD OF YOU KIDDO. YOU'RE GETTING SOME CHOCOLATE WITH OUT NEXT LETTER, OKAY?'_

Right before the howler burnt up, Harry heard Sirius shouting praises in the background. Then, it was extremely quiet. The entire hall was silent. Apparently it wasn't often that your parents sent you a howler to congratulate you. Ron was looking straightforwardly envious, while Harry didn't know what do to about this new development.

Then it all made sense as Grace (Lily's owl) swooped into the hall and deposited another red envelope. Harry had barely opened it when it started shrieking, with Lily's voice echoing throughout the hall.

' _. . . WHEREVER YOU GOT A FLYING CAR FROM, I'LL NEVER KNOW . . .'_

But Harry wasn't really listening. Ron was looking a lot more amused now that Harry was finally getting scolded for what happened, and Harry was already in good spirits from his father's howler.

' _. . . I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, HARRY . . .'_

'Your mum's scary when she's mad,' Ron said faintly, trying to hide a grin that was attempting to make its way onto his face. Harry just gave a small nod.

' _. . . I'LL HAVE GREY HAIR BEFORE I'M THIRTY FIVE – YOU GOT IT ALL FROM YOUR FATHER, I SWEAR -' _

Lily cut off suddenly as James tried to object in the background, and Harry knew by her prolonged silence that she was turning to glare at him. Also, judging by the way that James' talking trailed off into nothingness, that was most likely the case.

'_NO MORE CROSSING THE LINE FOR YOU, MISTER, AND YOU'LL DO WELL TO BE CAREFUL IN THE FUTURE!'_

The howler caught fire, and quickly burnt up. There was a long pause, and Harry finally turned to Ron.

'I think we've both copped it today, don't you think?'

Ron just nodded, watching the remains of the howlers as though he expected them to suddenly reanimate. In the bottom of his stomach, Harry felt distinctly guilty for what they had done – Mr Weasley was facing an inquiry at work, after all – but the aftermath was far too hilarious to be believable.

Harry looked towards the teachers' table up at the Headmaster. Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling in amusement, as though he had expected nothing less of his favourite group of Marauders.

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**Hope you enjoyed that. Remember to leave a review before you go. **


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